so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
