she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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