I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He? As in you personified your dick?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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