Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Randomize
