Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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