i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
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