Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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