I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
