Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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