I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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