I am in a vortex of obligation.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You are a genius and a whore.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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