it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
