U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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