Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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