bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
