my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
