I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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