I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
