It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i drank out of a bidet.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
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