Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
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