I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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