non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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