I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
