I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize