butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
