why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
