Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize