I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
