I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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