So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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