There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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