here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
