my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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