Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
