i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
she woke up with a sticky ear
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
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