Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
