I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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