Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
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I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
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Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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