Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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