your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
