Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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