so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
