Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
