I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
