I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
