they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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