You're a womanizer and a bitch.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I'm really busy with my period
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