I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
is it fun? or sober?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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