dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
