dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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