What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
