that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
