Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We have so much sex to catch up on
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
