Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
