youre lurking in front of me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
