we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
