Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
